Pet jokes
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want; it won't chase you.
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
I love my dog, Sadie.
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.