When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked why was I playing with my food.
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own
Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.
how does the bunny keep his fur neat
with a hare brush
Like if your bestfriend has a dog
Why did the dog 🐕 join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter whutcha call him he ain't comin'
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
Named my dog syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say “get Down syndrome”
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
I ran over neighbors cat last night and I just want to say... THAT THING WAS FAST! I had run a red light to get it!
What do you call a house with dog hair? A shed
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me: ...
Me: Bitch please.
my sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks im irresponsible so i throw it out the window
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day 😮💨
my girlfriends dog died so i got her a new one in replacement and she went off on me and yelled
"What am i supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
why was the dog stealing shingles?
he wanted to be a woofer
I had a dog with an eating disorder. He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
what has two legs and is red all over?
half a cat
