Pet jokes

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?

A boomboxer.

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?

Get it a Rolex!

I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one dog... yeah, it was a shih tzu.

What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador.

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?

A: Cowacat

B: Mooore

C: Cowacatfood

What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

What do you do when you see a wiener dog?

I like you wiener.

I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.

Onions was a good dog.

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.

Because we couldn't afford a dog.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.