Pet jokes

Why did the rapper go to the pet store?

To buy a dog for his bark tracks!

I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.

Onions was a good dog.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?

A: Cowacat

B: Mooore

C: Cowacatfood

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!

What do you do when you see a wiener dog?

I like you wiener.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.

Because we couldn't afford a dog.

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

What did the dog say to the other dog?

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?

Get it a Rolex!

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador.

I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one dog... yeah, it was a shih tzu.

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.