Pet jokes
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on the floor. But only for like twenty seconds.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.
I started crying when my dad cut up onions.
Onions was such a good hamster.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.