Pet jokes
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
I killed my cat.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Why do white people own so many pets?
'Cause they can't own people anymore.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.