Personal jokes
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
Person one: Why did the boy go home?
Person two: Why?
Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).