Personal jokes
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
When you realize the person reading this is a clown.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
I am a beautiful person.