My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
I threw a gay person into a fire. Now we call him LGBBQ.
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?
Because they keepped.
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
What do you say to a black midget?
Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
