Person jokes
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
what do you call a white person having a seizure?
a vanilla shake.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.