Person jokes

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!

Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.

Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.

People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.

You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.

Person: Uh okay.

You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?

Person: Addicted.

You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?

Person: Addicted.

You: What hit you in the face last night?

Person: Addicted... *laughs*

(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?

dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.

morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.

what do you call a white person having a seizure?

a vanilla shake.

How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?

The dog lead went slack.

A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"

The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."

Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?

A. System of a Down's syndrome.

I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.

So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!

What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?

Chromozoned.

Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.

Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"

Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.

What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.