Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident. They’ll hear the one word they hate the most. “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE”
Suicide is just self defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
What do you call it when a person with downsyndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None you are both dead on the inside.
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
why does Hitler deserve heavens, because he killed Hitler.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free".
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
there was always that one SPECIFIC person u THOUGHT ruined ur life,but it turns out ur life has always been ruined by u being in it..
What would fall out of a tree first? A depressed person or a feather?.
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What person cant work at a family business? An orphan
I offered to share a Meal with an Homeless Person once but he said "Piss off and buy your Own"
He is looking for children if you don't know who edp445 is look him up
be careful around edp445
What do you call an lgbtq person getting grilled? lgbbq
i made it DONT COPY!!!
Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
whats the difference between you and a fridge? the fridge don't moan when i put my meat in
