Person jokes
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"
Putin is the only person whose country is bigger than his mind.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.