Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
Person Jokes
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.
You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
you.
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
