Person jokes

What objects have the most gravitational force?

A Lambo and a gold digger.

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.

There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.

Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?

Vegetable soup.

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.

(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”

A: The chicken.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

How can you surprise someone who is blind?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.

What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?

Reality.

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?

Special Forces.

Someone asked me my gender... I said, "Woah, man."

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.

What is a gay person’s favourite meal?

Willy con carne.

Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.