Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
Person Jokes
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
There was a guy called John.
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Helen Keller.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
