Person jokes

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.

Hitla: That's exactly what I said.

Me: Wanna hear a joke?

Person: Sure.

Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

Person: Dear God...

What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.

JK, dark humor.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."