Person jokes
I want to be loved.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
Knock knock.
Me, a person: Who's there?
A: Deez nuts!
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
Why can't orphans become famous?
Because it will become easier for Technoblade to track them down.
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.