i identify as kilometers per second because i want to km/s
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
why were helen kellers hands crippled? From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
I sexually identify asi kilometers per second. Cuz I really wanna km/s
when your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school. When you get home your mom with the belt going 1k m9iles per hour.
what is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year? Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the party?
To count his RHYMES PER MINUTE
soory no adults aloud
only 3 per-son
Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck
Americans: Miles per hour Europeans: Bullets per kid...
A man find out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees. Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says βI can save you $100β
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
