Perlis

Perlis jokes

Baby

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What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?

A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.

Prize

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Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.

I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.

Cheetah

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Why are cheetahs the best animals?

The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.

A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.

Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.

Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.

One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.

Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.

While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.

A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.

Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.

With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.

Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

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    (As per Cosmo's request)

    Jack opened his drying eyes, awoken by a piercing ray of sunlight shining through crooked blinds. A gentle smell wafted in from the corner of what his temporarily blinded eyes knew to be a dilapidated kitchen. It was the one good thing about his life, that smell. He closed his eyes once more and awaited his call.

    “Jacky, breakfast time!” beckoned that oh-so-familiar girlish voice. “Oh, sill… Read more

    Hey @matt, so I was thinking, can we gove anons a limited number of post and comments? (Per device) Like it would help alot with all these Fakes and anons, but at the same time, it would make normal people get an account, and if they have an account, then there's probably a higher chance of them returning, no? And that would bring more people in, and start a small incline in users here, right?

    Like hey I'm just saying I'm normally retarded but shit sounds good.

    Hey gangsters, got a little challenge, just for shits and giggles. A poem, 12 lines long, 7-12 syllables per line. Ryne structure should alternate A, to B, to C for the first 9 lines, then for the final 3 do C, B, A. With the 10th line being a question of some sort.