My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?
Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus? Because he was cutting in line!
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
