What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're OFF RHYTHM, but I'll give you a hand"
Why was the rapper always so confident?
Because he had a lot of RHYME and REASON
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat. The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools the hat was covering the hips
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater." Fiancee:Break a leg
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always find their way with their FLOW
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some QUICKSAND BARS
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To catch some sick WAVES of applause
What do you call a rapper who's also a MAGICIAN?
Eminem-o the Great
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high
What do you call a pole dancer
A stripper
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience. The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "if you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick to bad for her because I give good sex
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done I said "How bout you give me a standing ovation." I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair. Sad and lonely
There was a news the other where a magician disappeared. He was like"at the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Des,and he disappeared without a trace.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place "Now sashimi now you don't"
