Performance jokes
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL WIZARD
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.
Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.
And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")
But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)
Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket
So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)
And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)
I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long
My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real
Music days be like:
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?
Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To drop some KNOWLEDGEABLE RHYMES!
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”