Performance jokes
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What do you call a rapper with bad credit?
Lil Borrow.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
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What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
Eminem-o the Great.
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To catch some sick WAVES of applause!
Why was the rapper afraid of ghosts?
Because they kept booing him off stage!
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because he kept spitting ice!
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.