Performance jokes
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
why th
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!