Performance jokes
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!