What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people? What’s up.
Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?
He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL
“If you’re good at something, never do it for free. "
Rapboats mom charges $5 a blowie
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?
So he could DEFINE his own beats
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd JUMP
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men? because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can
ever heard of rape jokes? no? well, i'll MAKE you hear em!
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman? if a man is performing anilingus on a woman it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy you fucking idiot !!!!!
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶
- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏
Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶
Did u here about the emo kid who audition for the school play?
He made the cut
Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?
So the haters could SUCK on him
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his RHYME TIME
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, outSTANDing performance.
Friend: If u don't like my bad jokes I will tell some stand up comedy. Me: But u are not standing:)
Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?
In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
To find his way to the top of the CHARTS
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says: 'Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears, says 'But doctor... I am Pagliacci.'
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."
