Performance jokes
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?
Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
He wasn't that bad.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!