Performance jokes
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
why th
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?
Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
He wasn't that bad.
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.