Performance jokes

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?

Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.

Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?

Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.

What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?

Standing ovation!

You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."

What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?

Ad-lib-idas.

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he wanted to drop higher bars!

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.

What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?

Punchlines.

How does a rapper start a race?

With a ready, set, FLOW!

What did the rapper say to the computer?

“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”

Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?

Because his bars were ice.

He wasn't that bad.

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.