Stove jokes

CHABI CHABI CHAB CHAAAAB!

Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"

I said, "On a stove!"

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"

The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.

How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?

How to make holy water:

1. Grab a pot.

2. Put water in it.

3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.

4. Boil the hell out of it.

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.

What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?

"Did I leave the stove on?"

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.

Where did the cake sleep on the stove?

In a pan.