Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
What is David Bowie known for when making music, he gets his beats from his kids
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction but it sure as hell ain't hard
If sex is a pain in the ass then your doing it wrong
why did the man die of the actors performance?
the performance was unbeLIVEable
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What's the good news? "We managed to save his arm." "What's the bad news?" "We couldn't save the rest of him."
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people? What’s up.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
Why didn't the drummer play? ....... because he got a percussion.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"
my departed uncle was a circus clown before he died
so all his friends came in one car
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns???
Go for the juggler!!!
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick to bad for her because I give good sex
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune." Im a banjo picker and I can confirm this is 99% true.
