A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with Cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The non stop dancer". It is very funny but it is made even funnier by Dudley moors, drunken and stoned laughter through the song. One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio but they are adlibbing and extremely drunk.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist
Why Did Michael Jackson call Boyz 2 Men ? He thought they were a delivery service
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'uno, dos...' and poof. He disappears without a tres."
Friend: If u don't like my bad jokes I will tell some stand up comedy. Me: But u are not standing:)
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
Yo mama's so ugly and her voice is so loud that The X Factor doesn't want or need her to show up to the performances when she sings
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, outSTANDing performance.
