Performance jokes
How do you know if a homophobic woman that is a Christian nationalist and Catholic is poor enough she would be desperate enough to do anything to pay her bills?
she would be willing to perform anilingus and cunnilingus on women regardless of their sexual orientation in the LGBT community.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
She really sucks, and the guy who is with her sucks too.
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.