People jokes
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What do orphans and deaf people have in common?
They can't hear their parents.
Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.