People jokes
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Dude, people gotta stop letting 9/11 jokes fly around like bro, you're gonna make my brain explode!
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.
Couldn’t Be Me.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Your hairline is back, people say. "Look at this dude."
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.