People jokes
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Women.
My brother
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"