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At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"

At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"

Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.

  • 1

    • You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"

    They jinxed it by saying "never sink."

    You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

    China has a population of a billion people. One billion.

    That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

  • 5

    • I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.

    He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.

    I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.

  • 2

    • Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?

    Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.

    Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."

    Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."

    Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."

    Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."

  • 3

    • So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

    A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

    When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

    2001/9/11.

  • 0

    • How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

    Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?

    Most people: No.

    Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.

    So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

    He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

    Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.