Penis jokes
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.
I got, I got, I got royalty inside my penis, or however the song goes.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
Can you fuck me, please?
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.