Penis jokes

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

Life is like a penis. It is short.

P.l.a.n.e.

Penis loving Asian now entering.

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

I have a 12-inch destroyer.

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.

What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?

A fine addition to my erection.

Lady: Will you fuck me?

Man: No, I don’t have a penis.

Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.

Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.

Life is like a penis.

Women make it hard.

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Walls.

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,

And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

"Penis equals power, pussy equals wussy."