Penis Jokes

What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"

Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."

(I am a penis!) HA HA!

"Cummy Beynis. Hahaha?"

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

Most autisitic person ever.

A tweet with the text "And YES it's possible for an animal to be trans. Your cat having a penis does not make it male. It's animal abuse to misgender your animals." followed by a picture of a man with a shocked expression. Below the picture is the text "We're hitting autism levels that shouldn't even be possible."

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.

What did the man say to the girl?

You just milked a cow.

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

My cock, lmao.

Big penis.

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."