Penis jokes

Life is like a penis.

Women make it hard.

Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...

It's too hard.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

What did the penis say to its pee?

"Urine."

*funny joke about dicks*

A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"

What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?

My penis.

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "I gagged."

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?

Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.

The priest is in jail now.

For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏

Kyle's penis is small.