Penis jokes

So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"

I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

Your dad has a huge PP.

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

Walls.

Mijn penis is lang lmao.

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.

🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 💶 💶 💸 💶 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰💰 👍 👍 👌 👌 😍 😍✌️✌️ 🌭 🍌 🕳

👨 👨 What does the initials GOP stand for?

👬 Gay man On Penis.

Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.

What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

In a world bizarre, Penis burgers, strange delight, Tantalizing taste.

Buns shaped curiously, Meat, a bold centerpiece, Lingering delight.

Sizzling grill, they sizzle, Juicy secrets unfold, Hidden pleasures found.

Tempting, yet absurd, Controversial cuisine, Curiosity piques.

Daring, adventurous, Palates embark on a quest, Uncharted flavors.

But let us not dwell, On the phallic form they hold, For taste transcends all.

Beyond flesh-shaped buns, Flavors dance upon our tongues, A feast for senses.

So let us partake, In this culinary art, With open-minded hearts.

My penis is longer than one inch.

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"