Penis jokes

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

P.l.a.n.e.

Penis loving Asian now entering.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"

I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

Your dad has a huge PP.

Walls.

Mijn penis is lang lmao.

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

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👬 Gay man On Penis.