Penis jokes
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
My cock, lmao.
China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.
"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ligma. Ligma who? LIGMA BALLS!
What was Pepe's best friend? Ballsack.
Your penis is literally BLUE!
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.