I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank? The lobsters in the kitchen.
Did you hear the passengers on the titanic invited yo! Momma and the titanic crew said man over board
So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted
A plane is going to crash there are four passengers and only three parachutes. all the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first he says, my fans need me and jumps, Donald trump takes another and says I am the smartest president, jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute. The boy replies don't worry - Donald took my backpack.
How many people can you fit in a car? 6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front and my nan in the ash tray.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear. Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him. Go on, so what did you do with ship them?
Me: dozes off while driving. everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11
A Pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers, the passenger asks, "Why did you become a Pilot?" The Pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says "You're afraid of heights?". "No, i'm afraid of dying alone".
What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.
who read the most words,
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
a mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car and passenger asked where are we going and the mexican says im not driving the drunk guy
The titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry everyone, I punch the wrong buttons and we are heading to DC instead of New York and we are about to run out of fuel. He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world and I'll make the decision. Tony you go first, our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging." Tony jumps off.
Francis,my friend, you go next, pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me." Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history." Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and ......"
Greta interrjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any- let's just say I list my job as a bud driver
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes. Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life
It was dinner in the plane and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner "What are my choices?"the passenger said.? "Yes or No," the flight attendant replied.
