Party jokes
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.