What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
