Parent jokes
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
Your mom's my dad. Think about that!
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
My parents love me.
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.