Outing Jokes

What would fall out of a tree first? A depressed person or a feather?.

Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked If I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt and he disappeared. Shame on you Penaldo.

My son asked me how i'm so clean,"inside out.". I told him because of bleach. the next day I found him drinking the bleach.

i got jealous of the zebras, sorry i’ll cut it out, i wanted to practice for my med school test

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it. “They see me rollin’, they hating”

I wasn't cut out for running today but those cops came out of no where

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby? When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

Woman: I want coffee, black Cop: *takes out gun* WHERE?!

What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?

Toothpaste.

I wasn't planning on going on a run. but those cops showed up out of nowhere

Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

This is how my mom always threatens me: I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too. That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty he was pretty shocked...

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. They boy turns to the man and says, “Hey mister its getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?” So the man says: “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"