When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
Outing Jokes
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?
Shout out to johnny4488 for commenting on my last post!
A guy walked into a bar.
A guy walked out of a bar.
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
I took out my mother-in-law, being a sniper, I'd fun.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his 4G ran out!
