Outing jokes

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Making holy water."

She said, "How are you making holy water?"

I'm boiling the hell out of it.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.

Deku: Hey, Todoroki?

Shoto: Wht?

Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?

Shoto: :)

Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.

CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.

Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.

What do you call a reverse exorcism?

It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.

Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?

What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?

We’re wiped out!

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.

How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

A blender.

How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.

Why did the clock out the library?

It tocked too much!

What time is it when it gets dark out?

Bed time.

Why did the dog walk out at night?

To scare his people!

So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"

He says, "What's it to ya?"

So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"

Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.