Outing jokes

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.

He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

Who crashed the plane?

1. Abu Faram? - terrorist

2. The little kid Joseph?

3. The passed out pilot?

Or Jamal?

I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD

Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.

CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.

Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.

What do you call a reverse exorcism?

It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.

I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Making holy water."

She said, "How are you making holy water?"

I'm boiling the hell out of it.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).

I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!

Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?

What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?

We’re wiped out!

If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.