Outing jokes

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?

"Wanna hang?"

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

Does money grow on trees? No.

What is money made of? Paper.

What is paper made out of? Trees!

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

What did one twin say to the other?

"Watch out for the plane!"