Outing jokes

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

What did one twin say to the other?

"Watch out for the plane!"

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,

"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Why was the dog so stressed out?

It had a ruff day.

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.

What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?

"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.

Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.