Outing jokes
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.