New Outing Jokes - Page 39 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What happens when emo's make out?

A: They don't they just hang out

yo mama so old when she farts dust comes out

emo people are like other emo people, they're emo, laugh now or I cut your eyes out. Tee heee

jack and jill went up the hill to get to the house they turned the lights out the jill shouts ITS A DILDO WTF?

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like 'ankle biters', 'rug rats' and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, 'carpet muncher' doesn't mean what I thought it does.

What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza never mind it is to cheesy" -Hello YOU MORON ITS *TOO not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval. I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah. Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.” My friend was the only one who laughed

Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the fuck out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels fucking weird when I go and take a piss.

why did ur emo mom get u? to have someone to hang out with.

Why did the starwars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? In charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

Jesus has a twisted humor kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah i almost forgot add razors that stick out there feet

Trump cheated somuch he cheated himself out of an election!

Little Johnny was late to school one day and miss brown asks, Johnny how come ur late to class and Johnny says, Miss, u wouldn’t believe it, the farmers bull got out and started fucking the white cow miss brown said Johnny don’t use that word next time you want to say that use the word “surprised”. The next day Johnny was late again and miss brown said Johnny why are you late and Johnny replied miss you wouldn’t believe it the farmers bull got out and “surprised” the whit cow, miss brown said that’s much better Jonny and Johnny said yeah walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

so i went to my freinds house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out i dont like visitors.

me be straight and bored goes to my local bar which has a goly hole out up spending the rest of the night there about to leave when mf I realize I've been sucking a guys cock this whole time ):