I was absolutely fuming when i found out my mate was rifling through my mums knicker draw
No one goes in there without my permission
Whats brown and sticky? ....................
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters...Jeez.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box. You put a can of beans in there.
how do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box. you run pass with a can opener.
somebody shouts "fire!"
man1 - get the children out man2 - f*** the children man3 - we dont have time
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
A man sits in a bar and get seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics. The bartender asked, "What's wrong sir?" The man reply's, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me." The bartender says, " put 20$ in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash." So the man walks out the with 20$ he put in his shirt pocket. The next day the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?" The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me 20$ bucks for the wash." The wife pull out the money. "There is 40$-", says the wife. "Oh, he also peed on me he paid for the wash to." The man walks away in belif he didn't get caught by his wife.
Family feud after finding out about Alabama
Why can we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
What is an orphans favourite day? Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out
I called my mom on Alexa and she told me "please take out the trash" and I said "but I can't ur not here
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
Why does kids like Michael Jackson So much ?Because he made out of plastic and that what toys made out of 😂
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence it didn't work and he said man I quit.
so a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said hi i'm your new dad the kid did not think about it and then he did and said but i already have a dad the mom said that was not your real dad
Follow Me On TikTok @yvngkchris Joke:At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”
when you are sitting out side at school and this boy come up to you with a rock in his hand and says do you know where mrs stewrt is at
