Otherness jokes
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.