New Otherness Jokes - Page 18

Two cows are grazing in a field.

One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"

The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!

Rape isn't a joke.

It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

Like this if you agree.

I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...

... And pulled a mussel.

What did one tower say to the other?

Damn, you looking PLANE!

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked, and the other doesn't.

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?

Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

Two nuns in a bathtub.

One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"

The other nun says, "It sure does."

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."