Why am I so successful,?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option..
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
What's one thing a homing missle can't kill?
An orphan.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Q:what did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy. A:hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
It’s sad some one has ligma
I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa .☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted. The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered Pristiano Penaldo 😭.I was right guys ✅🛫
A blonde, a brunette, and redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
why did one emo say to the other I like your cuts g
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? Neither one of them, they eat out
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11. Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: Long time, no see
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them contained their value after getting wrecked.
Why can’t orphans be gay?...
Because they have no one to call daddy
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator
