One Jokes

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle? A unicycle can only take one person at a time

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito? He gets to tear that ass up one more time

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were. Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock? -- She started her period.

Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

There are Three Sons Journey Korean and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island and a priest gave them each one wish the first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that." The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews."

Two guys watching a war movie at a Bar are talking , one says to the other. " The Nazi's starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war". The other says " my Dad died in a camp as well...he broke his neck" First guy says " how did he break his neck?" Second guy says " He fell out of the Guard Tower".

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito One stops sucking when you snack it

One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’.

One of the least popular documentaries was ‘Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape’.

One day 2 Chinese with broken English go to America. When they arrive they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu they see "hot dog" but since there English is bad, they think its literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back there both surprised and one of them ask "What part of the dog did you get."

So some ants in a colony go to war. they want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants. they start barging into home's to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home and the lady-ant goes "Hey. why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants reply with "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house"

Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A polise officer said," Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said," I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."