One jokes
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.
Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."