One

One jokes

Suicide

    • This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.

    The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"

  • 1

    • March

    • My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

    Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

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    • Prince

    • Dear prince,

    Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!

    P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.

    Butter

    • Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

  • 0

    • Father

    • Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

    In case they get a hole in one!

  • 2
    • One memes

    Friend

    • Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

    Band

    • These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

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    • Dog

    • A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

    The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

  • 3

    • Octopus

    • Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?

    Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.

    Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!

    Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].

    Tit

    • Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

  • 1

    • Clock

    • A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.

    The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.

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