One jokes

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Why do animators like Christianity?

Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

1+1? Too hard.

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.