One

One jokes

Man

    • A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

    Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

    Bill

    • One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.

    Son

    • I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."

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    • One memes

    Frog

    • What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

    A frog in a blender.

    (this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

    What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

    One can support an average family.

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    • Poison

    • Me: *gets down on one knee*

    Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!

    Me: *falls over*

    Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.

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    • Mom

    • One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

    A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

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    • Gun

    • I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

    Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

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