One jokes

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

It's sad someone has ligma.

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!

PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?

SANS: What?

PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!

SANS: Good one.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

1+1? Too hard.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?

A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

Alen vs. Predator.