One jokes

I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.

One day, I love you.

Why do orphans not know how to spell?

Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡

What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?

"We need to circumcise that one."

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?

Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!

You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?

The second one never lands as good as the first one.

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

You know those paper families you cut out?

Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.

What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?

One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.

Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

What has four legs and one arm?

A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"