One jokes

Vegan Teacher the musical.

Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?

One stops sucking when you smack it.

Why do orphans go to church?

To call someone "dad."

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.

"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.

"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?

LEAN BEEF!

People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.

All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Students: "Meat."

Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon."

Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"

One of the students: "Homework!"

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.

What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.

Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?

What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?

Sally in 13 trash cans.

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”

Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”

What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?

Only one of them is scared.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

One time I ate a chair.