One

One jokes

Kid

    • There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

    She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

    Son said, "But I can't see."

    Mom said, "That's the point."

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    • Man

    • Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

    Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

    Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

    Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.

    Morbid jokes

    • What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?

    One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.

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    • One memes

    Finn

    • During the Wintery Wackiness Wars!

    A Soviet Sergeant, stationed stilly near a sloped summit with his silly soldiers!

    Then a shout sails from the tippy-top: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a hundred heroic Honchos!"

    The Kommandant's kerfuffle commences, commanding a caravan of one hundred comrades to conquer the crest!

    Nifty navigation notes nil, the nasty news nabs many! After an Hour, hush descends. The high voice hollers, "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a thousand heroic Honchos!"

    Kommander fumes, forcing a further flurry, flinging one thousand fine fellows skyward!

    Nearly two hours now and the noisy nuisance ceases, then the shouting starts: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures ten thousand heroic Honchos!"

    The Kommandant kaput! Ten thousand troopers take the trek, taking tanks, trundling skyward, to take the terrain!

    Four fearsome, fretful hours then a soldier in tatters comes tumbling, talking: "Stop sending up soldiers, sir! There's two Finns fighting fiercely!"

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    • Cut

    • One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

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    • Monkey

    • 5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

    Sister

    • One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

    The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."

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    • Name

    • Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.

    Peter: "Hi Jack."

    Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"

    Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"

    Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"

    Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."

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    • Life

    • Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

    And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

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    • Son

    • My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”

    I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”

    I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”

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