One jokes

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.

What’s the difference between white people and Black people?

One runs from the police, one runs for the police.

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?

The grim reaper.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

Two husbands walk into a bar.

The first one says, "My wife is an angel."

The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.

What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?

Answer: Hair Force One!

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

Why can't orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy".