One jokes

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?

One was planned.

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.

What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?

One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?

One has more channels.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.