One jokes

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?

One has more channels.

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

What's a benefit of being an orphan?

No one makes yo mama jokes to you.

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."