What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, arenโt we?"
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
Theyโre both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
Whatโs the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Whatโs the difference between a female farmer and Hitlerโs girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, Iโm breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, Iโm dating your sister."
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?
