What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means there recording.
BTW i am one wahahaa
How many People do you need to change a Lightbulb? Three.The first holds the ladder,the second one holds the Lightbulb and the third one spins the Ladder.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag
One is made of plastic and bad for kids the other one holds shopping
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
I once saw a one handed man in a second hand store. I said to him: "i don't think they have what you're looking for sir"
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says "i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies "i don't care, i don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies "I don't care, i don't like butter anyway." Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says "do you want to tell her or should i?"
did you hear about the ninja pedophile no one saw him cuming
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her." (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans .Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
What Would you find on a haunted beach?
A Sand-witch!
"Hey guys I'm a new Jokester, remeber my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.s. They will be much better than this one!"
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance and I'm tired of it. Today I push him out of his wheelchair.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing while a man named Chris comes up and asks “which one is yours?” The man said “I don’t know i’m still deciding.”
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
