I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What did one orphan say to the other? Robin, get in the Batmobile.
2 old people sitting on a bench one turns to the other and says my butt fell asleep the other says yep i heard it snore a couple of times
one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says "who has seen a cock" all the woman raised their hands "no who has seen a cock that is not theirs" half the woman's hands went up "NO NO NO who has seen my cock" all the nuns hands went up
The ones you hate most are also the one who is by your side most.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have In common they both have a one two combo
Two men walked into a bar and one man asked for H20 and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
Two fish walked in to a wall one said to the other "dam"
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
one day I came to my mom and said "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
mom: "no you can't.."
me: *throws butter out the window* me: "look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked "Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said "No, but I like the way you think!" Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said "Little Johnny!" He replied "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
What was the one word that could of save Princess Dianas life? Taxi
there was always that one SPECIFIC person u THOUGHT ruined ur life,but it turns out ur life has always been ruined by u being in it..
what did one twin tower say to the other? Be back I gotta catch a plane
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying." -Charlie Chaplin
